CHIBUIKE OKEY

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​ Being my self New behaviors feel like showing up for dinner dressed like Micky Mouse. Frustration and disappointment are more comfortable than the discomfort of feeling inauthentic when you try on new leadership behaviors.

You don’t have what you want because you haven’t asked for it. Fear of asking for what you want results in not getting what you want. 7 ways to get what you want: #1. Ask for what you want.

​ I wrote this essay not long after November 24th, for a class I took last semester. Memories of my adolescence are littered with the phrase “what would Jesus do?” Despite my family’s relative areligiosity I feel like that phrase was everywhere. On brightly colored bracelets and bookmarks my friends always had, on billboards near my home town, spoken over and over again whenever someone didn’t know what to do or when someone else had done something they disapproved of. I never knew how we were supposed to know what Jesus would do, I’d never read the Bible or really heard it preached. All I ever really heard in that phrase was “whatever you’re doing, stop that. Jesus was perfect and you are not.” Everything I heard about what Jesus would do was in the negative. In my world people talked much more about what Jesus  wouldn’t  do than about what he would do, and when they talked about what he would do it was still mostly judgement. I’ve been thinking about that phrase ...

My brother, Juan Carlos, and I were sitting just outside my aunt’s first floor apartment in the hallway of a five story walk up on the grittier side of upper Manhattan. It was early March of 2013. We were chain smoking and talking about our family, our childhood and his heroin addiction. It was the day I told him about the secrets I was revealing in my memoir; about mom’s rape and how he found out when he was just thirteen that he was result of that rape. We traced his spiral to that day, more than 25 years ago, when he was in eighth grade. “Sometimes I blame myself.” He stared off across the foyer, avoiding my eyes. His face drooped like a bloodhound’s and his bald head shone with sweat. It dripped down his forehead and dotted his nose. Carlos pulled out a rag and wiped his head and face. That was one of things that stuck out about him in his addiction—he was always sweating and eating candy; his pockets rattled with boxes of Nerds. “I wasn’t supposed to be a drug addic...

Verse] You are the reason why I lift my hands Why I lift my voice Why I sing to You You are the reason I’m alive today   I am here to say   It’s all because of You [Chorus]   You are the reason [4x] [Vamp]   Saviour, Ruler, Jesus   You are the reason

​ An organization’s deadliest enemies are internal. How we treat each other while we face external challenges determines our ability to win. Internal environments are more important than external issues. Organizations exist to maximize the power of diversity. We’re better together, only if we honor, develop, and harness difference. 3 ways organizations die from within: #1. Judging others by your uniqueness rather than theirs. You can’t maximize diversity and expect everyone to be like you.  Intolerance produces sideways energy, or worse yet, people pulling against each other. When this happens, competitors win and customers lose. #2. Confusion regarding your place and contribution. You can thrive in nearly any organization if you feel you belong and your contribution matters. (Compensation aside.) This idea speaks to the value and power of leaders. Have conversations that address questions like: What value are you bringing? What makes you feel devalued? How might...